Should I Go To the Funeral?

When a family member dies or when a person is planning their own funeral in advance, one of the first questions that will be asked is, “Do you want burial or cremation?” The burial or cremation question is a starting point for a number of choices that must be made. It’s a place to start. But it is absolutely not the entire story.

Writing thank you notes is usually one of the very first “after the funeral” tasks you will undertake. You may be surprised to find that your brain/hand coordination is not working so well. You sit there with pen in hand and well-formed thoughts in your head, but somehow it all gets lost between the head and the paper. Don’t despair. This is normal and it’s all part of the grief journey. You are not thinking straight now, but you will again soon.

The Normandy American Cemetery is the resting place for 9,387 Americans, most of whom gave their lives during the landing operations and in the establishment of the beachhead. The headstones are of white Italian marble adorned with a Star of David for those of Jewish faith and a Latin Cross for all others. The permanent cemetery is located on land France granted to the United States in perpetuity.

First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering.  Don’t underestimate the value of your presence.   Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support.   That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died.   If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative.   A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition.   For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt.   When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal.   A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support.  So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised.   Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste.   A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan. www.griffithsfuneralhomes.com

There are a million ways to say thank you. Great or small they all have value. Decide to always just say thank you whenever you see a person in uniform. When you see a person in uniform at the coffee shop or fast food restaurant pick up their tab if you can. At the airport trade your first class or comfort seat for their standard seat If you have a neighbor who is deployed offer to play catch with the kids or mow the lawn. Ask how you can help Send a care package by contacting Operation Gratitude Donate your old cell phone Drive a Veteran to their doctor appointments (contact the hospital services coordinator at the local VA hospital) Write a letter Volunteer at a VA hospital If you run a business hire a veteran - Hire Heroes USA Donate dollars or time to train service dogs for veterans - Patriot Paws or Puppy Jake Foundation Build a house for a veteran - Building Homes for Heroes Big dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military. www.griffithsfuneralhomes.com